Primary school teachers have confirmed plans to settle old scores by making their most annoying students into Nativity Play innkeepers.
As role allocation deadlines approach, some teachers have confirmed that challenging behaviour over 2016 may result in being a donkey or a Roman soldier who doesn’t get to say anything.
Year 2 teacher Nikki Hollis said: “Millie is the obvious choice for Mary, but I can’t get over that time in October when she hid all the glue sticks and blamed it on Charlie.”
“I really want Connor to be Joseph because he’s always so polite and kind, but it’s a dead cert that he’ll either cry or wet himself onstage… that decides it, he’s Joseph.”
Year 6 teacher Tom Logan said: “My Three Wise Men? Those little geniuses who drank out of a puddle last week.
“And Jo, with the racist dad, is playing the non-denominational guiding Star of Hope.”
Meanwhile, public schools confirmed that they would be honouring the tradition of awarding lead roles to the children whose parents made the largest seasonal donations.”
[Inspired (with less swearing) by an article in the Daily Mash]